Lost Coin notes Feb 24, 2009

D mentions a book he is reading, on Zen practice and psychoanalysis, which, though very good for a certain style of teaching did not leave him inspired to practice upon finishing. There was a greater understanding but it was non- motivating.

D not interested in explaining for understanding, but to keep practice alive, and in new ways. D is coming at it more as an artist, in a spirit of adventure, mystery, the unknown, the non-intellectual, the new. 4th way is a path for understanding, but also of the mysterious, the unknown. Concepts themselves are not real, they are describing the real, as theories. The 'factual' is not so inspiring.

D reads to add clarity to his own path, to test the directions he is heading.

Continuing with Tokusan?

The stories of Tokusan are unique as they cover his entire life, and all stages in the life of a great teacher.

People look to Zen for 'enlightenment' and, although the experience is important, Zen is also working on the self, the impermanent self. We work on the objective. Tokusan's story can shed light on objective perspective and the mechanical.

D recaps the Tokusan story from previous week. Goes on to say Tokusan was described as a big, tall, fierce man. It may have had something also to do with his not being so easy on the eyes. He had a bump on head from bowing so much.

Following the story of the previous week, Tokusan entered into his second phase as a Zen teacher. When he gave daisan, he would ask the student to 'say a word of Zen', and whether they could or not, he would hit them with a stick 30 times.

Another teacher came to see Tokusan. Tokusan asks where he is from 'where he spent last training period' And asks why he is traveling here and there? This visiting teacher of course gets the stick, and sulks off to his room' travelling in a sea of yes and no?

Next morning, the visitor says to Tokusan, 'You hit me with the stick. Where was my fault?' D points out how this is different than running away, or blaming/accusation, or anger. We get further figuring out how 'I' can improve as opposed to worrying about how other can improve.

Tokusan goes through this phase 2 for a while, having passed form being Mr. Intellectual Right to being Mr. Zen Right. He may have been even more into his rightness.

A last koan comes from Tokusan's 80s. Called 'Tokusan carries his bowls'. It involves 2 students, Ganto and Seppo (Ganto being the more developed student although younger, and Seppo more of the Mr. Right). In this koan, Tokusan, in his old age, is coming down for his supper and Seppo asks him ' what are you doing' I have not rang the bell for the meal.' At which, Tokusan just turns around silently and goes back to his room. Seppo later tells his friend Ganto that he sent the big guy back to his room. Ganto says, 'Great' the old man doesn't know the last word of Zen.'

Tokusan then calls Ganto in and asks Ganto if he 'approves of this old monk', to which Ganto whispers something in Tokusan's ear, and Tokusan remains silent.

The next day Tokusan gives a completely different talk than his normal talk. Ganto stands up and claps and happily exclaims that Tokusan finally gets the last word of Zen!

In Tokusan's 3rd phase, it does not bother him to change his position. He is subtle, flexible, not full of rightness. Of course it would be nice to have this nourishing behavior before the age of 80.

Video taping stopped.

For this week, D asks us to do a study of what we are like. Systematically, diligently, consciously we aim to understand who we are, to be objective about who we are and what we want. Look at how we act, what we do, what we are like emotionally? Do we blame, worry?? This study can be of the physical but it is better of the emotional.

If we really understand the self, it will make a huge difference to get what we really want. D notes that if one describes/names one quality about the self or someone close, the next person will same something different, and the next person further away will say something even more different.

If one says it, ignore it.

If two say it, oh well.

If three say it, get a saddle.

Spend more time observing the self instead of interpreting how others see or interpret you. Don't purposely weigh your analysis on either one of the positive or the negative, although you will get more from the negative.

Study cause and effect. The things stopping you are not what you think.

Imagine if, tomorrow, everyone didn't feel as if they had to be right.

Exercise like this is best thought of like a song? or a group exercise in consciousness. It is not about the details. You don't need to define things, and likely cannot. Nobody can tell you the way something is. Practice in a way that transcends concepts.
